The story of kidnapped Alex

It was a normal Monday night, which means Ulenspiegel party. Alex put herself ready for the night but this time I decided to stay at home. She left, I went to sleep.

This morning I woke up; my alarm was set at 7.15 like always, and I was ready to do my morning porridge. Alex and I are shearing the same bed (nothing sexual, just the cheapest way to get a good bed) and every morning I'm trying to wake up really quietly so that I don't wake her up. This morning she wasn't there, she hadn't came home last night. What had happened?

I run out of the bed and checked the apartment - nothing. Not her coat, not her shoes, not her keys on the table. She hadn't come home and I know she wouldn't have gone to no-ones place to be filthy. 

I texted and called everyone - "where is Alex?" "were you late last night?" "was she drunk?". Thoughts went trough my head; maybe she decided to walk back home from the bar (because that stupid motherfucking thing does that, she doesn't have karate moves, I don't know how she is brave enough to do that kind of shit; walking alone on the scary Frankfurterstraße, psycho) and someone kidnapped her, or raped her, or she fell asleep on the street... I was worried and almost shitting my pants. 

I still decided to go out for morning run, but it didn't work out that well. I was just watching all the streets and thinking that everyone that passed me buy had taken Alex. I was sure that someone had buried her in the forest... And then this scary little fucker idea came to my head: our apartment. The nice people who gave us this apartment.

 Alex had told me how it's very unsafe to be american citizen, that there are people who are willing to kidnap you. I remember how surprised we were, when we were still looking for an apartment and our current landlord called us about they're having an open house. We didn't even remember about contacting them about the apartment, but we went to the open house and got it. 

Maybe our landlord was involved in Alex's kidnapping? They had been spying our house...? Maybe they were working for some kind of group?

So, Alex was gone. I came back from my morning run and went to have my private time in the "powder room" that has now toilet paper. I was just gonna start to cry and was texting with Dan when suddenly I heard noise coming from the hallway. Someone opened our front door - ALEX YOU MOTHER FUCKER.       

If I hadn't been sitting, I would have ran to Alex and hugged and kissed her. I was so relieved, she wasn't dead! Our landlord isn't evil, she is still amazing! 

Apparently Alex had stayed the night over our friends place - she was too tired to walk back home (and she still doesn't have those karate moves) and too broke to call the cab. 

Thank you rapers that you didn't take my dear roommate. 

Now Alex is very sorry for making me worried. And she cut her hair - not because I asked her to do it. 

This beautiful dance is for you, dear readers. Alex is doing that shit a lot.

With love,
Meri and the non-kidnapped Alex