Yo man Chicago

Today has been pretty interesting. But first look what Alex found yesterday:

That is a f*cking huge spinach leaf - she's gonna be famous one day FOR SURE 

So today has been a mess. Literally a mess. I was an emo for a second, Alex did her nails and then she became an emo because of the f*cking life and stupid top coat for the nails that doesn't work. Just 10 minutes ago I threw my banana slices in the air and spilled the coffee all around our kitchen table - sorry don't have a photo of that situation, it was pretty funny. Now my knee hurts and I think it's gonna be pretty beautiful at night with the bruise and stuff, ach so. 

Everybody throw your banana slices in the air!

Look at them nails bitches 

Even though all this has happened, we had time to be a little bit feminist and think about women rights and shitty stuff that we have to handle in our lives. So why we would like to be guys:

1. Alex said, that if she was a man she would move to the mountains and be a mountain man. Then she could also be able to do "Brokeback mountain"stuff - AWESOME OR WHAT ?! ps. Heath Ledger, you'll always be in our minds.

2. This is the thing that girls think about every month; why guys don't have periods? Why, why, whyyy....... It costs so much money and we don't even want to have it. 

3. Makeup - this time guys always say "you don't have to have makeup, it's your own choice." Oh yeah, we wouldn't even have this conversation if I didn't wear makeup. 

4. Hair - ok, guys have facial hair BUT girls can't have hair anywhere. So we need much more razors than u do, mister. 

5. Hair - ON OUR HEADS. Usually it's better to have long hair than short - and that's expensive. 

6. Walking on the street - It's f*cking dangerous to walk on the street at night when you're a girl. Especially if you come from the bar and u look nice - then u can't even hide it that you're a girl. Guys can walk on the streets when ever they want, also naked if they want! If girls walked on the street naked it would be "hello rapers" for us. 

7. Assumptions - girls have to clean, do food, take care of the kids... It is proven, that the people that stay at home and don't go to work are more likely to suffer from depression. 

Ok, I'm not gonna continue this feminist blog text, because after all we love being a woman. I think we'll never stop complaining how unfair it is for being a woman - we just have to suck it up and be as fabulous as we can. Even though it's f*cking expensive. 

With love,
Meri

Ps. Today we're going to have a lot of fun in the Audimax party! 

Okeyy aaaand YouTube doesn't want want to work with me. So fuck you YouTube. Ah, it's going to be such a good night. 

The story of kidnapped Alex

It was a normal Monday night, which means Ulenspiegel party. Alex put herself ready for the night but this time I decided to stay at home. She left, I went to sleep.

This morning I woke up; my alarm was set at 7.15 like always, and I was ready to do my morning porridge. Alex and I are shearing the same bed (nothing sexual, just the cheapest way to get a good bed) and every morning I'm trying to wake up really quietly so that I don't wake her up. This morning she wasn't there, she hadn't came home last night. What had happened?

I run out of the bed and checked the apartment - nothing. Not her coat, not her shoes, not her keys on the table. She hadn't come home and I know she wouldn't have gone to no-ones place to be filthy. 

I texted and called everyone - "where is Alex?" "were you late last night?" "was she drunk?". Thoughts went trough my head; maybe she decided to walk back home from the bar (because that stupid motherfucking thing does that, she doesn't have karate moves, I don't know how she is brave enough to do that kind of shit; walking alone on the scary Frankfurterstraße, psycho) and someone kidnapped her, or raped her, or she fell asleep on the street... I was worried and almost shitting my pants. 

I still decided to go out for morning run, but it didn't work out that well. I was just watching all the streets and thinking that everyone that passed me buy had taken Alex. I was sure that someone had buried her in the forest... And then this scary little fucker idea came to my head: our apartment. The nice people who gave us this apartment.

 Alex had told me how it's very unsafe to be american citizen, that there are people who are willing to kidnap you. I remember how surprised we were, when we were still looking for an apartment and our current landlord called us about they're having an open house. We didn't even remember about contacting them about the apartment, but we went to the open house and got it. 

Maybe our landlord was involved in Alex's kidnapping? They had been spying our house...? Maybe they were working for some kind of group?

So, Alex was gone. I came back from my morning run and went to have my private time in the "powder room" that has now toilet paper. I was just gonna start to cry and was texting with Dan when suddenly I heard noise coming from the hallway. Someone opened our front door - ALEX YOU MOTHER FUCKER.       

If I hadn't been sitting, I would have ran to Alex and hugged and kissed her. I was so relieved, she wasn't dead! Our landlord isn't evil, she is still amazing! 

Apparently Alex had stayed the night over our friends place - she was too tired to walk back home (and she still doesn't have those karate moves) and too broke to call the cab. 

Thank you rapers that you didn't take my dear roommate. 

Now Alex is very sorry for making me worried. And she cut her hair - not because I asked her to do it. 

This beautiful dance is for you, dear readers. Alex is doing that shit a lot.

With love,
Meri and the non-kidnapped Alex